When I was in college I got into a relationship. So at the very beginning it was going smoothly but after a certain time it eventually became toxic. He used to violate me a lot. And after a certain point he cheated on me. And that even just broke me up from inside. I became traumatized. That time I was just enrolled in my university. I felt like all my dreams were shattered when he left me. I tried to commit suicide many times. I used to wait for death and didn’t like anything. One day I realized how many days I will stay like this? And I thought of freeing myself from my past.Here are some steps that can help anyone on this journey:

1. Acknowledgment of Pain

Firstly you need to know the reason behind your pain and accept that you are hurting. Denying or minimizing your pain won’t help you to move forward.I wanted to identify what was hurting me the most, the reasons behind my pain. If I don’t know the problem how will i solve it . So firstly I tried to find out the pain or problem, whatever you want to say .

2. Reflect and Understand

Understanding why you feel the way you do can be a critical step in processing your emotions. But to do that you need to spend time with yourself and understand your feelings. I tried to understand my feelings. I started spending time with myself only to understand what I actually want.

3. Express Your Emotions

Find healthy ways to express your feelings, whether through talking with a trusted friend. A trusted friend is a blessing. If you talk to them you will eventually feel better. If you feel like crying do cry because it reliefs you from burden and makes your heart lighter. In this healing process, I had my best friend beside me. Who always stood by my side. When I used to get panic attacks my friend was there for me. He listened to me without even judging and helped to heal my heart which he didn’t break. Having a trusted friend is a blessing.

4. Practice Forgiveness

Forgiveness is crucial in the healing process, both for yourself and others. Holding onto grudges and resentment only prolongs your pain. This doesn’t mean you have to forget or excuse the actions that hurt you, but letting go of the anger and resentment frees you from their hold. I wrote a letter to my ex, expressing my feelings and my intention to forgive. Although I never sent it, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

5. Seek Professional Help

Consider seeing a therapist or counselor. Professional guidance can provide you with strategies and tools to manage and overcome your pain. But never ever take medicines to get relief from your pain. Just give yourself time to heal. As I was going through a very bad phase of my life, I took professional help. I used to go to a counselor. We just used to talk. She used to push me to express my feelings. And it reduced the burden of my heart.

6. Practice Self-Compassion

Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Avoid self-blame and acknowledge that it’s okay to feel hurt. Actually I accepted my pain. I accepted that I am going through a bad phase of my life but I believed this phase will pass away. At the very beginning I used to torture myself then when I wanted to move on I became kind to myself . I started loving myself.

7. Let Go of Resentment

Holding onto anger and resentment can keep you stuck in the past. Work on forgiveness, not necessarily for others, but for your peace of mind. I just forgave my ex boyfriend not because I loved him . But because I wanted to stay in peace. I forgave him but the lesson I got was kept in my mind.

8. Stay Present

Focus on the present moment rather than dwelling on past events. I never tried to remember past events and become sad rather then I always tried to stay in the present.

9. Set Boundaries

If certain people or situations trigger your past pain, it may be necessary to set boundaries to protect your emotional well-being. The people who made me remember about my bad past I without knowing even thinking for once cut off connection with them. I remember after my break up when I was broken one of my cousin told me I am “abnormal “ from that day I didn’t talk to her even for once. Whatever is harmful for me ,I kept it away from me.

10. Engage in Self-Care

Prioritize activities that nurture your body, mind, and soul. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, and sufficient sleep can significantly impact your emotional health. I used to go to gym everyday. I used to workout for 3hours daily. I used to take care of my skin ,hair and everything.(You can watch out my blog 30 days to a better you: My Personal Self Care Challenge journey “).

11. Find Meaning and Purpose

Sometimes pain can lead to growth and new opportunities. Find ways to transform your pain into a purpose, such as helping others who have experienced similar issues. I remember when I got out from my pain even when I was in my healing process I used to listen to others tried my best to help them in solving their problems.

12. Be Patient

Healing process needs a lot of time. It isn’t very easy to get out of trauma very easily. I gave time to myself. Sometimes I felt too much broken ,cried out louder but I kept patient and didn’t give up. Be patient with yourself and acknowledge your progress, no matter how small it may seem.

Combining these strategies can create a comprehensive approach to overcoming past pain and moving toward a healthier, more fulfilling life. All I can say I didn’t give up. I worked on myself. I cannot say that I have healed myself totally. But still I am healing and I am in better state of my life .